On Happiness

Vintage gnome-elves that Frances passed along to us-- they make us so happy! :-)

My spirited and wise next door neighbor Frances Maciel passed away a couple weeks ago. Ian and Lil Dude and I adored her.  She was like an abuelita—a grandmother—to Lil Dude.  She called him her ‘jito (little son) – they would sit together on the comfy astroturf porch of her flamingo-pink-trimmed house and munch on nuts together, chatting and laughing.  She made us many tamales over the years, and regaled us with funny stories about her life here in our ‘hood, sometimes in English, sometimes in Spanish.

Lil Dude and I visited her at the rest home the day before she had the massive stroke that led to her death a few days later. That day, she held my hand tightly in her hand, gnarled with arthritis.  With shiny eyes, she looked at me intently, and said, “Life is beautiful. Be happy.  Don’t waste life being angry.”  She repeated those words, over and over. “Life is beautiful.  Be happy.”  I squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes and promised to take her advice.

#

This morning, Lil Dude woke up in a grumpy mood. At breakfast, he moaned, “Why is everyone being mean to me?”

Ian and I had to suppress our smiles, because just yesterday Lil Dude woke up in a joyful mood and kept exclaiming, “Wow! Why is everyone being so nice to me?!”

This morning, I tried to explain to him (in five-year-old boy language) that this was all about his perception.  He felt grumpy, so it seemed that the world was being mean today… but actually, Daddy and I were treating him just the same as yesterday morning. The difference was his mood, his perception.

I thought of Frances’ words.  I told Lil Dude that happiness is a choice. We can choose to be happy.  And one magic trick to becoming happy is to make a list of things that make you happy, things you’re thankful for.  So we made a list: “The snow is awesome.  I get to wear my snow pants and boots today.  Our house is cozy with our Christmas tree. I had yummy waffles for breakfast…”

And it worked.  He smiled.  He changed his mood to happy and the world became nice to him again.

# 

For most of us, choosing happiness is a skill we must develop and practice, so why not start young rather than waiting till your deathbed?   A pallative nurse, Bronnie Ware, recorded the epiphanies of her dying patients in her blog Inspiration and Chai. She found that one of the top five regrets of dying people is:  I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Bonnie writes, “Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice… Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”

I promise myself to take Frances’ advice to be happy, to remember that life is beautiful.  I will honor this, and I will continue to teach her ‘jito to choose happiness, too.  

And, dear reader, may you choose happiness in your own beautiful life as well…

Rest in beauty and happiness, querida vecina Frances.

xo,

Laura

Taking Action NOW!

Like all of you, I've felt overwhelmed with sadness and horror and anger about the shootings in Connecticut. To my readers who've been affected by the tragedy, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you and your loved ones have suffered. 

In my last post, I answered a reader's question about The Queen of Water:  When you listen to [Maria Virginia's] stories and or those of similar background and history, do you ever feel guilty about our often over-privileged lives and how do you face/deal with that?

My answer was basically that I transform that guilt (or any other overwhelming emotion) into action. And this is also my response to the shooting tragedy. I'm transforming my sadness, horror, and anger into action. 

For me, taking action often means writing books-- like The Queen of Water (indigenous issues) and Star in the Forest (immigration issues). Sometimes it means letters to my representatives or letters to the editor.  

In the case of the increasing assault weapon violence in our country, I believe that an essential part of the solution is to strengthen gun control.  Maybe you agree with me, or maybe you think the main approach should be to give free access to mental health care and restrict mentally ill people from obtaining weapons (which I agree is also important). 

Whatever your response is, I hope that you're doing something about it now rather than just feeling awful and talking about how awful you feel.

I've signed White House petitions about gun control and written emails to my congress people (on the state and national level, along with the governor and the president.) I've also written a letter to my city's newspaper.  Here's the jist of my letters:

It’s not enough to feel saddened and horrified by the shooting in Connecticut. It’s not enough to offer prayers and hugs and tears.  We need to take responsibility for the gun laws in our country.  With reasonable federal  laws, we could have prevented this violence.   Every single one of us who has a child or loves a child should feel compelled to take immediate action to ban or restrict access to weapons for mass killing. According to a CNN/ORC poll in the Washington Post in August 2012, most Americans support a ban on semi-automatic weapons and high-capacity clips. Every single person who supports these bans should be writing to their congress people, signing petitions, and making it clear that we will no longer allow the politically powerful NRA lobby to endanger our children’s lives. Let’s not just talk about how saddened and horrified we are.  Let’s take action now.

No matter what your age, you can easily find contact info for your state and national representatives online and write to them. If you don't know who they are, you can find out here. I also urge you to write to your governor and the president, who you can contact here.  You can sign a White House petition for better gun control here.

Remember, your letter can be simple and short.  It will only take you about twenty minutes to take this immediate action. And you will feel better when you do.

Thank you, dear readers, for your big hearts and social conscience.

xo,

Laura

       

Q & A for Queen (part 1)

Hi guys!

This’ll be the first in a series of q&a posts about The Queen of Water.  These are questions I didn’t get a chance to answer on the live chat I did last week as part of Primary Source’s Global Reads online book club. (Thank you SO much to everyone who participated, and sorry I didn’t get to everyone’s questions during the session!)

First, here’s a comment  from a high school student, Karen...

“I loved your book!!!! I am originally from Peru and I connected so much with the story because my grandmother story was like Maria's (actually my grandmother's name is Maria too!!!) she was from a remote part in Peru and she arrived to the capital, Lima when she was 12 to work as a maid for a family.... I imagine my grandmother perhaps going for a situation similar to Maria... it  was very emotional to me.....!!!!! I wonder if the book is gonna be published in Spanish so I can give it to my grandmother to read... again I LOVED YOUR BOOK!!!!”

Thank you, Karen!  I’m really honored that our book helped you connect with your grandmother.  It's very moving to hear how much the book means to you. I *wish* it were available in Spanish, but our agent wasn’t able to sell Spanish translation rights. Maria Virginia and I are trying to make it happen through other avenues, though. Please give your abuelita an abrazo from us...

Kevan -- Any thoughts about a movie?

We wish!  Our agent didn’t sell any movie options, unfortunately.  I think it would make an inspiring movie, though, and would make her story available to a much bigger audience.

From Linda: Laura, what is your next book?

My book The Jade Notebook (set in coastal Oaxaca, Mexico) just came out this year. It’s third in an international travel-adventure-mystery-romance trilogy. (The Indigo Notebook, set in Ecuador, is the first in the series.  The Ruby Notebook, set in France, is the second.)

From Linda:  Do you provide any royalties to Maria for her story?

Maria Virginia and I decided to split our advance and all royalties down the middle, 50%-50%.   Our agent directly deposits Maria's money in her account.  Individually, I also donate a percentage of my royalties (at least 5% per year) to non-profits that support indigenous rights in Latin America.

In the book, many Spanish words are used. How did/do you decide which ones to translate rather than have in English?

All my books contain some words in phrases in languages other than English (Spanish, French, Mixteco, Quichua).  I make the decisions pretty intuitively— honestly, it just comes out that way when I write.  I think the foreign language terms I incorporate are usually words or phrases that don’t have a great English equivalent, or terms that have special cultural /social significance attached.

Anonymous: Did Maria Virginia ever meet the actor who played MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson)?

I have tried really, really, REALLY hard to get in touch with Richard Dean Anderson! I’ve done detective work online, and had some leads, but I've been met with dead-ends every time.  The agency that I *think* represents him hasn’t returned any of my phone calls.  Argh! Maria and I have a signed copy of the book that we want to give him… and we think he’d like it if we could just get it into his hands!

When you listen to her stories and or those of similar background and history, do you ever feel guilty about our often over-privileged lives and how do you face/deal with that?

I do feel that compared to most people in the world, my life is very privileged (as far as having education, necessities and luxuries, safety, social freedoms, etc.)  I’m very aware of this fact, every day.  (Living for two years in an impoverished region of Oaxaca, Mexico, really brought this home for me.)  I believe that since I had the random luck of being born into this life, it’s my responsibility to do what I can to help people in tougher circumstances become empowered to change their lives.  Writing is one way I do this.  (I’d say that if you feel guilty about our over-privileged lives, turn that guilt into fuel for taking action to promote global social justice!)

Okay, my freshly baked apple tart awaits me now... Thanks for reading!  I'll be posting another batch of questions and answers soon, so stay tuned!

***Also, on a different note, if anyone's interested in a personalized, signed copy of any of my books (for yourself or for a gift), you can order it from Old Firehouse Books, my wonderful local indie bookstore.  Here's their website-- in the comments section of the order form, you can write who you'd like me to personalize the book for.  Or, you can just email or call Old Firehouse and tell them you'd like me to personalize your book. I live close to this book shop, and can easily swing by to sign books... just make sure that you order the book at least a couple weeks in advance if you want it to arrive in time for the holidays. ***

xo,

Laura